I have found a potential solution while frustratingly trying to set things up
This fixes my problem where I was trying to connect to the wireless display and it would just hang on connecting
DO NOT CONNECT TO A 5GHZ access point!, If your router broadcasts both, make sure to only connect to the 2.4GHZ band!
The other useful info I found in this thread has been make sure to disable McAfee firewall, and VPN software to help solve connection issues
now my only problem is that I see my desktop but its frozen (extended desktop)
edit: just changed my band settings from 20Hz to auto in the centrino settings in device manager and performance seems better?
Last tip, do not use 1080p as win8.1 limited output to 30hz but it used to be 60hz in the 8.1 preview and 8.0. Reduce resolution below 1080p to get 60hz (or else your video will have framerate of 15fps and look bad)